The disappointing words that would detonate the emotional dynamite shattering my heart, was read with a stubborn disbelief. My heart is broken as though into a million pieces as I write this. It has happened before. And every time it felt painfully different.
“It is with a collective heavy heart that we announce that after over 20 years of marriage and a long separation, [we] . . . are officially divorced.” The statement read.
How could this be? How could such a beautiful loving couple end up divorced? The endless questions seemed to assault my very core. It may be, because I too, like many know the devastating blow of betrayal and divorce.
The abrasion for me was the report that, “Although we tried, the challenges in our relationship have proven too much to overcome.”
I believe in the sincerity and can empathize with this influential couple, but it does not soften the dent to the frail perception of marriage in our post modern era. Particularly when it is happening among people who claim to follow Jesus, and proclaim a rugged believe in the One who instituted marriage.
Whatever happened to “Jesus is the answer for the world today?”
The alarming rate at which marriages are falling apart is quite scary!
The lessons are glaringly loud.
First, it could happen to ANYONE! This is a human condition. This is proof of our deep-seated selfishness, and the desperate need to depend on the Creator with reckless abandon. This should serve as a warning that, in the words of the African elders:
“when you notice your neighbor’s beard on fire, make sure you have water close by yours.”[tweetthis]when you notice your neighbor’s beard on fire, make sure you have water close by yours.”[/tweetthis]
Marriages must be guarded, given the most support, respect, and the necessary encouragement to continue thriving “till death doth part!”[tweetthis]Marriages must be guarded, given the most support, respect, and the necessary encouragement to continue thriving “till death doth part!”[/tweetthis]
Second, marriages that are not supposed to be should simply not be! Intentional evaluation and determination of ‘marriage-thriveability’ must be brought to bear before licenses are issued and long before the wedding bells toll.
Last, those that should be, must invest in a solid foundation and continuing improvement ‘mechanisms’ put in place to ensure longevity and success.
The current trend in marital breakdowns is indication that, our very existence is under a pernicious attack.[tweetthis]The current trend in marital breakdowns is indication that, our very existence is under a pernicious attack.[/tweetthis]
This is no joking matter!
A healthy marriage is a necessary cornerstone of every thriving society, and its disintegration is imminent once marriages begin to crumble.[tweetthis]A healthy marriage is a necessary cornerstone of every thriving society, and its disintegration is imminent once marriages begin to crumble.[/tweetthis]
Here’s the wake-up call!
To those still married, snugly pull your spouse closer after reading this, the soonest opportunity you get, and tell them how meaningful they are to you! Get creative!
To those waiting to be married, who’ve never walked that road before, do whatever you can to build a solid foundation upon which to build your marriage. INVEST in being the spouse you’d want your partner to be NOW!
To those preparing to take the marital journey all over again, release your heart to deeply love again, expect the healing experience to add value to your new adventure, and with a renewed wisdom, plunge into the boundless sacrifice of marital bliss.
And may the resurgence of the sanctity of this glorious institution called marriage, ordained by the Creator of our Universe, be realized in our lifetime!
And for good measure, I have this to say to my future wife . . .
‘I’ll love you and never let you go! I pray now, among other things that you would make the same commitment and never let me go either!”
What other suggestions would you give as an advice to help marriages thrive? What are your thoughts?