Tony (not his real name), seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when he came to a sudden pause in his distressing story. He was clearly distraught. He recounted his story with the precision of a Glass Cutter. I listened intently making mental notes and waiting for an opportunity to dig deeper and give him some insights.
He met ‘Janet’ (not her real name) and summarily made the decision to love her. He described Janet as a down-to-earth, no-nonsense, straight-shooting intelligent lady, who seemed to be a Christ-follower, and not particularly religious. It was her engaging conversation that first captured his attention. According to him, their relationship was ‘organic’, not forced, and had the right intensity of chemistry.
Some initial vicious assault to the budding friendship that would have destroyed any relationship rather set theirs on a path of transparency and somewhat of a stronger bond. It also signaled some red flags of the neon variety.
I have known Tony very well for years and can vouch for his character as a very good Christian man. He is not a perfect man, by a long shot, but his rugged pursuit of what is right and a constant development of his life testifies of his passion for living life right and to the fullest. He admitted to making his share of relationship mistakes, but this one had some vivid colors!
His next question splashed onto my face like cold water on a frigid wintery morning. “Where are the godly women”, he asked, his voice betraying his frustration and a hint of regret. It was only after he mentioned that Janet had lamented over and over again about also finding godly men that it struck me. . . . . .
‘. . . . .If they are both looking for the same thing, shouldn’t they find what they are looking for in each other? Why then, are they not finding it?!’
We explored further what Tony was looking for in a wife. He admitted to being a bit confused sometimes by cultural messages and the strong current of compromise. (This would be the focus of part two of this blog post).
As we examined what Janet said she was looking for, I realized where the inherent flaw resided in the singular voice of woe among many single women.
The fundamental problem is the greater focus being wrongly place on how single women could find godly single man. And there are countless single women wondering. . . .some even asking loudly. . . . .
Where are the godly men?!
The men are not missing! Godly men are out there, but it is not up
to you, ladies, to find them. It’s not even up to you to know where they are let alone ask where they are! Your place is focusing on being the wife-material, positioning your hearts and futures in the hands of the Creator who knows you well enough to know who you need! You’re not designed to find, but to be found.
When you refuse to ‘being found’ and resort to ‘finding’, a lot of bad things happen. The pressure alone is overwhelming!
First, the competition is tough! The need to win drives some women to do crazy things. From being lured into thinking-like-a man-but-acting-like-a-lady, to huge ‘investments’ in cleavage and buttocks amplification, cosmetic-lathering, and peek-a-boo outfits.
Second you become easy prey to godless men who masquerade as husband-material with exploitative motives. They know when you are finding!
Third, you gradually drift into an abyss of frustration brought on by multiple heartbreaks that will result in a calloused heart, a blindness to see clearly, a relentless erosion of worthiness, and a bitter taste in your mouths about where the good men are!
Ladies, in the kindest way I have to say that, godly men are not missing!
When you believe and are focused on the treasure that you are, solidly rooted in the constant gazing into the Face of the Creator in trust and hope, the more you become adoringly valuable as a treasure worthy of being found. As you stay in His presence, the single man who is looking and also gazing into the Face of the same Creator will be directed to find you where you are!
Men being natural hunters, when they find a good thing – a treasure – they will wholeheartedly go after that good thing![tweetthis]Men being natural hunters, when they find a good thing – a treasure – they will wholeheartedly go after that good thing![/tweetthis]
This is similar to a man finding a treasure hidden in a field and covering it up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field!
Ladies, hide yourself like a treasure in God, and wait to be found![tweetthis]Ladies, hide yourself like a treasure in God, and wait to be found![/tweetthis]
Would you let me know what you think?
What frustrations are you dealing with in this ‘Finding’ and ‘being Found’ process?